I will confidently say "yes" right away. Yes, I do love You, and I am not ashamed to tell the world about it. But as I declare my love for You I was struck with a question, Do I really love You?
That question got me thinking. I suddenly remembered how I get by every day with You by my side. In the morning when I wake up my very first thought could have been You, but it's not You. I grabbed something from under my pillow, You wanted to talk to me, or even say "good morning". I sat down with a tired face as You started talking. I just nodded to Your words, cringing whenever I don't understand or when You talk too much. Sometimes it's worse, I get up and say "later, okay?" then forget that later and go on with my business, as if I really have any. These are the kind of days I forget about You, or only remember You when I eat because that's the time my mind's not too occupied. I sheepishly apologize, and You forgive me right away. I continue with the things I do and there You are, waiting and eventually, hurting. There are areas in my life that You wanted to be involved in but I seem to have kept you out. I seem to be happier when I'm with them than when I'm with You. You felt cheated and neglected yet You never complained, even once. You tried think of ways on how to get me back. You remembered those times I've spent days clinging on You because I was so sad. I never let go of You because I needed You, I needed someone to embrace me in my lowest times. I am not that strong. Praying for it to happen again has crossed Your mind, but You took it back. You know me well and how I am too weak to handle a broken heart and it made You to get closer to me.
I am not numb, I can feel You're hurt. I always say how I wanted our relationship to last forever, but it's just my words without action. I find it unfair, not to me, but to You. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt You, but I always do. I wanted to apologize for everything. You are slow to anger, but I always think you are tired of it all. Are You?
I went back to the time I fell in love with You. You first loved me and pursued me. You even risked your life for me. I was in love and I am happy. Tears welled up in my eyes. I want to go back to those days when I felt joy in my heart. With all these realizations I asked my self again, "Do I really love You?" Yes, it will always be a Yes. I know You don't require me to love you as much as you love me, for I will never, ever reach to that level. I know I got cold, but You never left me. You never gave up on getting me back, even if it looked like I have given up already. You really loved me, unconditionally.
Today I try my best to put You first in everything I do, for I know my relationship with you is the foundation to everything. I have learned that real joy could not be replaced with anything and can only be found in You. Sorry for everything. I will always love You, because You first loved me.
I Love You, God :'-)
16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 19 We love because he first loved us.
-- 1 John 4:16,19
".. I have loved you with an everlasting love.." --Jeremiah 31:3
38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
--Romans 8:38-39
That question got me thinking. I suddenly remembered how I get by every day with You by my side. In the morning when I wake up my very first thought could have been You, but it's not You. I grabbed something from under my pillow, You wanted to talk to me, or even say "good morning". I sat down with a tired face as You started talking. I just nodded to Your words, cringing whenever I don't understand or when You talk too much. Sometimes it's worse, I get up and say "later, okay?" then forget that later and go on with my business, as if I really have any. These are the kind of days I forget about You, or only remember You when I eat because that's the time my mind's not too occupied. I sheepishly apologize, and You forgive me right away. I continue with the things I do and there You are, waiting and eventually, hurting. There are areas in my life that You wanted to be involved in but I seem to have kept you out. I seem to be happier when I'm with them than when I'm with You. You felt cheated and neglected yet You never complained, even once. You tried think of ways on how to get me back. You remembered those times I've spent days clinging on You because I was so sad. I never let go of You because I needed You, I needed someone to embrace me in my lowest times. I am not that strong. Praying for it to happen again has crossed Your mind, but You took it back. You know me well and how I am too weak to handle a broken heart and it made You to get closer to me.
I am not numb, I can feel You're hurt. I always say how I wanted our relationship to last forever, but it's just my words without action. I find it unfair, not to me, but to You. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt You, but I always do. I wanted to apologize for everything. You are slow to anger, but I always think you are tired of it all. Are You?
I went back to the time I fell in love with You. You first loved me and pursued me. You even risked your life for me. I was in love and I am happy. Tears welled up in my eyes. I want to go back to those days when I felt joy in my heart. With all these realizations I asked my self again, "Do I really love You?" Yes, it will always be a Yes. I know You don't require me to love you as much as you love me, for I will never, ever reach to that level. I know I got cold, but You never left me. You never gave up on getting me back, even if it looked like I have given up already. You really loved me, unconditionally.
Today I try my best to put You first in everything I do, for I know my relationship with you is the foundation to everything. I have learned that real joy could not be replaced with anything and can only be found in You. Sorry for everything. I will always love You, because You first loved me.
I Love You, God :'-)
16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 19 We love because he first loved us.
-- 1 John 4:16,19
".. I have loved you with an everlasting love.." --Jeremiah 31:3
38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
--Romans 8:38-39
