I Always Have Something To Write About

I always have something to write about and it haunts me,
The feelings, pushing me to translate them into words
I always have something to write about and I'm bothered,
The words, pushing me to write them in paper.
I always have something to write and I'm scared,
That something hidden will be seen in me.
I always have something to write about,
But I chose not to write,
because there is something behind every cheerful smile
that only my pen and paper could understand.

I wanted to write about something, no it's not just something, it's about what I feel in the depths of my heart. But It seems like the available words aren't enough and effective to use to perfectly express what I feel. I never wanted to sound doltish and to be taken vaguely so I guess I'll just drop the idea and let my hidden paper and pen do its work.