I am the eldest. I lived years of being the second parent. I always try my best not to show them fear nor cowardice. My family thinks I am strong enough to face anything, but the truth is, I am a weakling. On the other hand, my friends think I am jolly person. They think I am too happy to be sad about anything, that sadness can easily be overpowered by my happy nature. Actually, I am really a jolly person. I am optimistic. But iside me is a wounded version of myself, not wanting to be seen. I am really sad.

It is an everyday struggle to display on the outside the opposite of what's really inside. That's not me. I didn't know pretending can hurt this much. But I'd rather be like that than make people think, or feel bad about me. I am too ashamed to admit it. I'd rather have people think that I'm a happy and a strong person because I know I am, and being weak and sad is just a season that will surely pass.