This pain that I feel will push me to become better.

                     
                                                                                                                                 
 
                                                                                                                 25th of December '12
                                                                                                                  5:26AM
                                                                                                       
Dear Jesus,
         Happy Birthday! Woohoo! I'm not going to ask You about Your age ‘cause You always look young and handsome to me despite the fact that I haven’t seen You yet and that’s not what we are going to talk about. How’s Your birthday, by the way? We don’t know the exact date or time of Your birth and it has been a debatable topic ever since but let us celebrate it today, I know You won’t mind.
         I am thrilled with the idea that the whole world is throwing You a party. Isn't that so cool? I can only imagine how many cakes have been baked for You and the number of wine bottles served for You on every dining table. Maybe they’re not as elegant as the wine You miraculously prepared at a wedding in Cana but I know You’ll appreciate them anyway.
          However, there’s a feeling in my heart that I keep inside. I know You are aware of it and You know the very reason for it. Sorry, I’m so dramatic but it just saddens me whenever I see people celebrate Christmas without You or more specifically, Your birthday. The enemy strikes twice as hard, ruining Your birthday. People are throwing endless Christmas parties and You’re not even invited. There are a lot of presents for everyone but You didn't even receive one. I didn't get to open any present too, but that’s fine because it’s not my birthday anyway. It makes me wonder how You have felt about that. During Christmas dinner, people stuff themselves with food and there’s nothing wrong with that. But couldn't they pray first? Or should I consider taking pictures of the food and posting it on Instagram the new “grace before meals”? Little children, my little sister and cousins not spared, know Santa Claus more than they know You. Santa can’t fit in chimneys, and we don’t even have a chimney! And please, don’t let me get started on some people who chose to be sad this season because their love life is zero. There are blankets available everywhere!
        Sorry Jesus for all these rants, this is what I feel inside and You know it. However, I know that even though all these things sadden You, You understand. You will always understand because you love us unconditionally. I know there are still a lot of people who has the same heart as I have and we will always be grateful for Christmas. Christmas is the only time where I see many people get so kind and loving, the whole world is filled with love. Christmas is also an opportunity to share and bless others. Christmas is the time where we enjoy marvellous display of lights across the neighbourhood and the cities. Christmas is also a time to be with our families and loved ones, making up for the days, weeks, and months that we haven’t seen each other. These things make us happy. But the most important reason why we are grateful for Christmas is because it’s Your birthday. You came into this world as a baby boy lying in a manger to be our Saviour, our King, and for this reason our hearts are overjoyed and that’s priceless.         Jesus, let me give You a big, long,warm hug. Happy Happy Birthday. When You return we can already celebrate Your birthday together and it will be the best birthday bash ever! I love You so much.                                                                                                 

                                                                                                                           Love always,

                                                                                                                           Mic-mic:-)

Doomsday

If the world is going to end today, I will be thrilled to know where  you are at. I want to be with you. I want to face the end with you.

As the meteor strikes and this planet starts to shake, grab my hand and let us search for a safe place to stay. I hope by this time you have an amazing doomsday prepping idea in mind. Protect me from the killer waves of the approaching tsunami as it attacks our city.  Thunderstorms, volcanic eruption and more natural disasters will surely hit this earth but despite all that I will feel secure inside your warm, protective embrace and the words you whisper to my ear kiss my fears away and assure me that we will survive this together, for we have each other.

After the attacks of nature I guess we're still alive, and our grumbling stomachs can attest to that. It's time for some food hunting and scavenging. You're the funniest guy ever, giving me every chocolate bar in the grocery store 'cause the manager didn't survive. You seem very happy that I was still all smiles, of course, I deserve to smile 'cause I have you on my side. But wait, didn't you hear that? Footsteps, approaching footsteps. Thank God, other survivors! No, wait. They don't look like survivors. Those are unusual footsteps. Uh-oh, Zombies! We saw this coming, just like in the movies. I suck in running, you know that. So you carried me on your back. Wow, you are really strong! But seriously, are we laughing while running? We are such crazy people. Other people will be amazed of the sense of security we both give each other. Oops, I was reminded that we are the only ones left and these zombies on an insane brain diet. Oh God, please help us. Next thing, the ground shook and the soil was divided. Zombies were wiped out. Hooray.

It was dark all over and the only visible light is the shimmering of our eyes. The earth was a total wipe out and we are the last two standing. I will hold your hand and you will lock it into mine, just a perfect fit, you will come near me and give me the warmest embrace ever, and I will feel this peace in my heart that you will never leave me. We look up in the sky and thank God that he didn't let the world end without getting us to meet first. We survived the end of the world together, and I don't think is the end of the world yet, 'cause we feel like it just started.

Beauty Queen

If its impossible to qualify
For a beauty pageant tonight
Just let me be seen
As your beauty queen.
As I walk through the crowd
I will feel very proud
with my worn out sneakers
instead of high heel killers
No make-up on the face
Nothing but a sweet grimace
No silky, flowing hair
Long legs, I'm spared of a pair
I don't even have a gown
But never will I frown
I got more than a crown
'Cause you never let me down
Despite expectations unmet
Your support, I'll always get
With your love so pure
I'll never get insecure
Many will be on the spotlight
But I'm your sole star shining out so bright
And In your heart I'll always be seen
'Cause I'm your one and only beauty queen.

Dear Future Boyfriend,

Hey :-))))) Just so you know, I thought about you today, I thought about you yesterday, the other day, the day before the other day and so on. Insane, isn't it? Don't be too happy 'cause I don't feel happy about this. This bothers me a lot. Maybe you didn't think about me as much as I do and that is good to hear. I expect you to be strong in this waiting phase thing. You know what,  something tells me that it's okay to be with you now. I'm 20, it's not like I'm a restricted 13 year old. However, there's also something that tells me to wait for the right time. But really, when is the right time coming? Am I going to wait for 4,5, 6 years or more? I'm getting a little impatient and it isn't right. I dread that I'd start envying sweet couples and worse, I might search for you when I should be the one waiting. In fact, you wouldn't like it when I pursue you right? You will pursue me, gentleman.

I find it funny to write you this letter, It's like my wisdom went on a vacation. I got it back now, thank God. Dear, this is a serious matter. I know it will be great if we meet but it's only great if it's in the right time. Imagine the great risk we will put our hearts in to when we force things to happen. Sorry for being a little impatient, and whenever you feel the same way just hold on to the wisdom that God provided for us and to the grace that makes us more patient. I'm okay now, I know you have prayed for me. Thanks. I will wait, and that's a promise.

Love,

Your Future Girlfriend

For three hours I've been trying to write you a poem, or an essay, or anything but I guess there are no words that could describe what I feel right now. So let me just run to you and hug you so tight, so tight that I can already feel and hear your heartbeat. That way, you should know how I feel right now.

I really wonder why I met you, why you met me, among everybody else in this huge world. I wonder why and how our paths crossed. I’m quite amazed by that fact, actually. Slowly, as I get to know you I see how we are similar in a lot of ways—the way we talk, the cute stumbling and jumbling of our words. The way we act and react like our simple exchange of playful punches, pinches, poking and whatnot. Our interests like reading, dreams of becoming a doctor, and to travel around the world. The way we view things, the way you are appreciative like me. The things we believe in. The things where we put our heart in to. The things that make us happy. I can still enumerate more and it reveals a spine-tingling fact that we are almost similar in everything. It’s as if we have the same mind, same heart, same soul. Have I found my soulmate? Is it you?

Most of the time it's really best to cry

Let the tears flow as if your eyes will run dry

The pain inside you makes you want to die

Don't worry, the pain will soon say its goodbye.

What I want to do

Is to run towards you and

Receive a big hug

Sige, Iyak lang

Huminga ng malalim

Sige, Iyak pa.

Scrolling up and down,  seeing photos, stuck on a page, stopped. Saw something that gave me chills tonight. I feel weak, felt fear, felt pressure, anxiety, depressed..name them. I was really scared. I stared at the laptop screen. I started to worry.

I'm overwhelmed with the feeling that I can not do this and that because I'm incapable of doing so. I am unfit. I am not worthy. Then I just remembered that in this battle I was never alone. I should not be afraid. I should not fear. Because there's someone out there who is greater than anyone else in this world. Someone who can provide everything for me. Someone who has won the victory for me. I still a feel a bit of fear in my heart because the battle I'm facing is too much for me, but as I've said: I am never alone. God is here :'-)

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. 
--Isaiah 43:2 NLT 

There are girls,
Pretty Girls,
All glammed up
From head to toe.

With 3-inch high-heels,
Mini skirt,
Tiny waists,
Plunging Neckline,

Cherry Lips,

Nose Lines,

Batting Eyelashes,
Contoured Eye,
Silky Straight Hair

And there I am,

Slouchly standing
From head to toe,
With worn out sneakers,
Washed out Jeans

Love Handles,

Plain big t-shirt

Unruly hair
With nothing on the face

but a few beads of sweat
Yet among the all these girls,

I am the one
You consider beautiful :-)

I can assure him, her, that person over there, the person beside me, myself and of course, you that I am already over you. It is just that it feels so awkward whenever we are together in the same place. I feel like my movements are so limited to the point that I just want to be immobile until you leave, not to mention you trying to make a conversation with me and putting a stupid, smiling face. That's really annoying, don't you know that? Maybe this is due to the fact that I moved forward and just got used to you not being with me and not seeing you for a long time. Don't worry. I'll got used to this very soon and when I see you, It'll be just like the same feeling I get whenever I see anybody else.

Di mo lang alam

Nag-aalala ako

Ng sobra sayo

One thing I really hate
Is that you consume my time
Thinking of you,
wondering about you,
worrying about you,
how have you been,
if you have been eating,
if you have slept well,
if you are okay,
And then I will realize
The awful, hurtful fact
That you never ever even
thought of me
for even a single minute
for even a single second
for ever.

I’m happy about the fact that I am fully able to talk to those people who has hurt me in the past. I mean, It’s really hard to do that. Greeting them on their birthdays, replying to their texts, saying “Hello” when you bump into them, being able to speak and even say nice memories when I’m asked about them. It’s not easy, but managing to face them with courage and a smile in your face shows how you’ve grown so much since they left. It also shows how you got better that you can even remember them with a smile on your face with no trace of bitterness whatsoever. It shows how you’ve moved on and ready to face new chapters with a brand new you.