To the girl who caught my eyes, my attention, my everything, this silly piece of writing is for you. Don't be offended or anything. I tagged this "silly" because I'm no writer, I'm just a lone man teaching standards and the conceptual framework. For almost a decade that I am here in the last floor of a building way older than I am, it was my very first time seeing somebody that really caught my eye. As I stood in front of my class I saw you in the middle part of the seat plan behind the door. You were focused on my writings, which I plead forgiveness for its unrulyness. You squinted with your spectacles and took down notes. You weren't looking for me, which gave me the opportunity to observe you a little further. As our class progress I cracked some jokes and I noticed you supressed your chuckles, as if too shy to laugh. It would be embarassing if you did not react to it though. I asked the class for answers to problems, expecting a response from you but I heard nothing. You just agreed with them. I still observed you secretly during the class. You let your hair cover most of your face. Please tuck it behind your ears, you are beautiful. Too bad I needed to dismiss the class but I'm happy that I'll still get to see you next week. I hoped you'll meet my gaze on the last minute of the lecture but you were busy fixing your things. 'Til next week, 'til next week.

Sometimes I just wanna go into a far away place where no one could hear me or notice me. I can be on a higher ground where I can shout and say anything beyond my means without anybody hearing me. A place where I can release all the pain, anger, sadness, grief I have in my chest as I scream at the top of my lungs until my voice become hoarse. A place where I can beat up grass or kick and throw stones. A place where I can just lie down, sweating with adrenaline and tears flowing from my tear ducts. And as I sob, I'll think everything that pains me will come out together with my tears. Maybe It'll make me feel right. Just maybe, I should give it a try.

Dear Ex Bestfriend,

I was holding on to the railings with sweat beads on my forehead as I stand on the LRT. I was on my way home from review school and I was very darn tired. The LRT is so crowded and I tried my best to make less physical contact with people I don't know. However, there was a familiar scent that caught my attention. It was the lady from behind. One lady got up from her seat and I took her place. I don't have plans on sittting anymore but I just needed a clearer gaze. Those familiar strokes of birthmark on her neck, that trademark ponytail, a beautiful set of teeth, that calming voice. It was you. My best friend from 5th to 6th grade. I was very surprised to see you. I can't even remember the last time I saw you. Shoot, I know you will get off on the next station and I really wanted to say hello but I'm afraid It'll be too akward. I wasn't sure but it felt like we both avoided each other's gazes. Next station, you left.

A pang of sadness hit me. You were my best friend, my sweet best friend. I consider myself blessed then, for I know a lot wanted to be close friends with you. You always have that charming, friendly disposition. I was blessed that among everybody you still chose me. We had an amazing friendship. Sadly, you moved into a far away place. We promise to write each other. You gave me your letter, your last letter. You told me to write you a letter, but I never did. You never did. High school made us so occupied that we didn't notice we have neglected a very beautiful friendship.

Years passed, I sent you an Facebook Friend request and you confirmed. I was delighted. I sent you a message and we chatted. I can sense that akward feeling as we exchanged responses. I felt bad. It felt awful. Are we still friends? Or just facebook friends? Time has passed and sadly we have changed. I'm thinking what could have been for the both of us if we maintained our childhood friendship.

I revisited your Facebook page and liked some posts. Despite being sad about our friendship I am happy that everything's going well for you. What happened to us has taught me that I must put value on my realtionship with my friends, and greater value to my best friends. Yes, I got a couple of best friends whom I share my life with and I strive to keep them for the longest time. I hope my friend that somewhere in your heart you'll remember that once, there was a person whom you become bestfriends with, and still remembers you.