It makes my heart so happy whenever I receive chocolates. Who doesn't love chocolates anyway? But you know what, it is not just the sweet chocolates that make me so delighted, it's the person who gave the chocolates. I appreciate that person's sweetness because that person is thoughtful enough to care and that person knows that this will put a big smile in my face. That is sweeter than any chocolate bar in the world. :'-)

I always wonder why I always dream that I was holding your hand. It's kind of funny, 'cause we never do that in real life. But honestly, every time I dream about it there was this spark I feel whenever our hands met, and the spaces between are fingers were perfectly filled. You squeezed my hand delicately and with love. But, after a minute or two, you tend to let go of my hand. This makes my heart stop. It makes me sad. I hope the next time I dream about me, you and our hands, you will not let go.

There are people who notices little things about you. People who you show your biggest smile but can still sense the sadness in your eyes. People who you show the slightest hint of emotion but still can sense what you hide inside. I will forever appreciate those people, 'cause you don't need to tell them that you're hurt, or you have something in your heart that you can't contain yourself. Because those people knows you, and will be pleasured to hear from you.

The guy i'll be with
is the one who prayed, pursued
and chose to love me.

I admit (even it’s hard for me to admit or accept things) that I’m having a hard time dealing with everything that is happening to me right now. Because of this, I am getting kind of confused with all the emotions I am feeling, affecting my relationships with the people around me.There are things I felt I wanted to do, things I felt I wanted to say, but a lot of things hold me back because I know I am still not in a stable situation. Things are as vague as ever. I just pray that things will get clearer soon, so whatever is present, I’ll be able to deal with it with certainty that I’ve made a decision not based on an uncertain feeling.

Love Unspoken

Your eyes close, a fringe of lashes,
holding back the tears as they gather.
Why is it you hide from love,
even as it stands before you?
Your heart can see, love, even in the darkness.
Your hands rest at your sides,
though they long to reach out,
afraid to touch, afraid to feel.
Love in all it’s emotion, surpasses the physical.
Without even the faintest touch,
it leaves it’s imprint upon you.
Your voice hesitant, you dare not speak of love,
guarded, you keep your voice even,
afraid to let the emotion show.
Yet you give yourself away,
for I can hear love in your voice,
even as you pray for me,
even as you call out my name.
Your eyes speak of a love,
that has not yet found it’s voice.
I smile and let it go for now,
content to find myself,
in the presence of love unspoken.

Posted July 19th, 2010 by eternal_optimist

Akyat sa kwarto. Hahanap ng gagawin (kesa tumulala lang), pero hindi ko magagawa yun dahil wala ako sa pokus. Walang kakausapin at mananahimik. Bad tayming, tumawag pa si Itay, tumawag din ang tiyahin ko. Buti sana kung pwede kung sabihin sa kanila na masama ang loob ko. Magpapanggap nalang ako na walang problema. Tsk, di pa naman ako best aktres. Tawagan ko nalang siguro ang bespren ko para magsumbong--di pala pwede, nangako ako sa kanya na 'di ko sya gagambalain ngayong weekend. Pero masama ang talaga ang loob ko. Naiiyak ako sa inis. Isipin mo nang OA ako pero wala akong pakialam.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero madali talagang sumama ang loob ko kapag hindi natutupad ang mga bagay na inasahan ko nang mangyari. Kuha mo? Kapag may ipinangako ka sakin, o sinabi sakin, tapos hindi matutupad o mangyayari ay sasama talaga ang loob ko. Sasama ang loob ko sa'yo. halimbawa sinabi mong "Sa Saturday, aalis tayo ha?" O di kaya "Sige, bibigyan kita niyan" ..itatatak ko na sa utak ko 'yan, na para bang iniskedyul ko na 'yan at dapat mangyari. Sa madaling salita, aasa ako sa sinabi mo hanggang tuparin mo iyon. Kaya naman kapag hindi natupad 'yan ay sasama talaga ang loob ko. Maiinis ako sa'yo. Maiinis ako sa mga dahilan na humadlang sa pangakong napako. Ewan ko, siguro kasi, pag nangako ako, sisikapin kong matupad iyon at sa pagkakaalam ko, hindi pa ako nagpapako ng aking pangako. Alam ko kasi ang pakiramdam ng isang taong umasa tapos walang nangyari.

Siguro ganito talaga ang buhay sa mundo, may mga taong hindi marunong tumupad sa pangako, o sa napag-usapan. Kelangan ko na sigurong tanggapin ang katotohanang iyon, at ng mas malawak na pang-unawa. Naisip ko lang, si Jesus nga, kapag humingi ako ng tawad, pinapatawad niya ako, tapos mauulit na naman 'yung kasalanan ko. edi hindi rin ako tumupad sa usapan diba? Pero dahil mahal niya ako, kahit nakakasama sa loob ang ginawa ko, andyan parin siya. kasi mahal niya ako e. At si God, hinding hindi mapapako ang pangako niya. Kaya hinding hindi ko iisipin na wala ng pangakong natutupad ngayon.Sana po Lord, 'yung mga taong nangangako sakin ay matutong tumupad sa napag-usapan, at bigyan niyo narin po ako ng Grace para mangibabaw ang pagmamahal ko sa mga taong 'yon at mawala ang sama ng loob ko sa kanila. hehe :-D

Hindi na masama ang loob ko :'-)

mayoonak juu ni ji juu kyuu fun mae

In nineteen minutes,
I'll say goodbye to twenty,
Hello twenty-one.

But you know better now, so make sure it’s all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk. Don’t lie to one another. You’re done with that old life. It’s like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you’ve stripped off and put in the fire. Now you’re dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ. So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it. Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.--Colossians 3:8-17, The Message Version