I came to a point where I needed to kill every emotions just to protect myself. I have killed all hopes and dreams. I have killed all expectations. I have killed the desire to change and improve. I just live one day at a time and no matter what happens--whether good or bad, I will just accept it. I am just frustrated and exhausted to try anymore. I know life will be difficult for me, but isn't it like that already? I am already at a level where trying and expecting life to get better is more painful than just letting things be without doing anything. So yes, this is me now. Just surviving each day until its time to leave.